23, Sydney AU


Lately I have discovered some startling things (about myself and otherwise). For one thing, I am much more selfish than I like to think I am; I am much more foolish than I thought I was; and I don't know how to love people as much as I think I do.

Not the kind of discoveries you want to be making when you've freshly turned 20. 20 to me sounds like such a turning-point age; I should have my life together by now. I should be an adult by now, with a handle on everything. I should have developed a cool, calm attitude with which to deal with things, and I should know more of who I am by now.

But I find more than ever that I am a lot more lost and confused than I thought I am. It's not necessarily an entirely unpleasant discovery; on the flipside to all of this, I am more sure of some things. Like the fact that I know I'm going to work it out - well, at the very least, I am going to try!

Perhaps looming assessment deadlines are getting to me. I am growing accustomed to this feeling - of being directionless. I really don't have as much of a handle on things as I thought I did, but that's okay. If this means I'm struggling, and I'm growing, then by all means - more!

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