23, Sydney AU


mailtojessicayun@gmail.com

I have been called a bad student. I have been called a bad friend. The first, I am more used to (though, really, it should hurt the hardest - I just have a very warped set of values) and the second, I regret painfully.

But nothing hurts more than being called a bad daughter, and even more shamefully, a bad sister.

爸。弟。。我对不起你。我爱你们那么多,但是不知道为什么不会说出来。不知道为什么我会这样只。。我自己有问题。。不想到会应向你。

真没脑。。没想过。Selfish.

I'm sorry. I love you. 很多,很多,很多。

It's like for some fucked up reason I can never tell my family how I feel about them but when it comes to my friends, it's just so easy, so natural. But when it's my family I just choke the fuck up. I feel uncomfortable. And it's not like I love my friends more or less than my family, I just love them in different ways - obviously, because I have a different relationship with them. But I guess that makes all the difference.

It's morbidly ironic how I've become the opposite of what I want - who I want to be.

I say I'll change but it never seems to happen. But if I can resist junk food for over a week now, I can fucking do this shit. No weaknesses, no excuses, just me. Adopt the dedication that was literally glaringly obvious in Zyzz's body.

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11.8.11 with 0 comments
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