Once again, it is the teacher whom I have very badly repressed disdain for. Combined with a complete utter LACK of respect from me, I'd imagine that she'd think that I was the worst student on earth had I not really seen how much other students didn't do under her 'rule'.
It's very hard to explain how I feel without sounding so subjective and overcome with - passion, is the only word I can think of.
OK CUT THIS POLITE BULLSHIT. FUCK.
WHAT THE FUCK IS SHE DOING TEACHING AT A SCHOOL LIKE CARINGBAH HIGH? I SWEAR TO FUCKING GOD SHE'S LIKE THE FUCKING REASON CARINGBAH IS BARELY MAKING TOP 20 RIGHT NOW, WE USED TO BE IN TOP TEN WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED TO US? I THINK OUR SCHOOL AND I THINK 'MEDIOCRE', 'AVERAGE'. But that's not true, I am so intensely proud of our school for so many reasons and for being so involved in SO many things and to be talking about my own school like this, which feels like a (big.. big.. really big o_O) family with erh 85+% of people whom I don't know, feels like I'm turning my back on something that's pretty much raised and sculpted me.
I really don't have any right to complain since I am probz as far as you can get from a Good Student, but it just frustrates me the way she doesn't seem to grasp even the simplest things. I have been known to completely underestimate people and I am aware of this, but honestly I think she's doing exactly the same thing to me and my fingers are literally flying through the keyboard right now OH MAN IF ONLY LYNN COULD SEE ME SHE'D BE AMAZED. :| I'm just - what's the opposite word for impressed? - brb thesaurasing - oh my god wow internet is taking ages, and ages, and ages, and I think I've graduated high school now (thank god I can get away from that fkn bitch.) - oh my god, unimpressive, of course -_-. I'M SO UNMIPRESSED WITH THE WAY SHE TEACHES, I don't think unimpressed is a strong enough word.
So today we spent our third lesson answering 2 fucking questions, and I seriously don't understand why she doesn't push us harder if she gets fed up with us ==, and she didn't explain the question properly so I of course had to ask her. I won't lie, it was a barely unconcealed challenge to see how she'd react. And she reacted exactly the way I predicted she would.
I'm not joking, and Belle was here to vouch for this so if you don't believe me you can ask her, but believe me you'd get a much more detailed account from me. == Instead of explaining in a clear, succint way what the question is really looking for, she just starts going off about how I don't understand the question and Do I Get It? and It Just Means this this this and she was like getting pissed off.
Is this the way you respond to your students when they ask you questions? How the fuck do you sleep at night? You are so fucking lazy. Do you honestly thing you are doing a good job teaching? My dearest wish right now (ok this is nowhere near any of my dearest wishes, but for the sake of this rant I'll just say so) is that she'll sack herself in an amazing fit of understanding of how she's completely RUINING the HSC for anyone she comes into contact with.
Am I exaggerating? Maybe just a little. Are these feelings fleeting, momentary, a simple burst of indignation? NO. FUCKING. WAY. No one is so lucky to have good teachers every single time but I just feel so sorry for anyone who has had the misfortune of having her as an educator.
I swear there are fucking rules against belittling students. T_____T No I am not going to "look back at this and laugh", I will probably "look back at this and join my sixteenage yaer old self and continue raging."
I will become prime minister and I will overtake Jullian Gillard, and I will go to great pains to ensure that education is a primary concern T^T. If not first, then somewhere in the top five. = O =
And you know what else pisses me off? (Sorry that this isn't over guyz.) My fucking classmates are too ball-less to really say anything back. But actually that isn't the case, I think I'm just being Too Fucking Rude and Upfront For My Own Good, but it's just very very hard to contain.
John said something very wise last lesson. "There is no point in being good at English if it doesn't make you good at life." He constantly stresses to us to not be like typical asians who only see the hoop that they have to jump through in order to gain the marks. DON'T! get me wrong, getting marks is a wonderful wonderful thing and if you get them then Good On You, but when that becomes EVERYTHING and you're missing out on other good things and then you're just completely missing the point. Lighten the fuck up, take some time to actually learn shit about yourself and other people.
I know I'm probably being so hypocritical, sigh. But it's so hard and conflicting when on one hand you want to be all mature and unassuming and on top of this when on the other hand you have so many feelings literally surging through you LOL. I don't want to be calm, I don't want to be reasonable :( I want to shout and yell and scream and organise a mass parade or something and jump around in those West Indian costumes like Pocahontas. (idk.)
OK CALM THE FUCK DOWN JESSICA. LOL. Until next rant, kids :P